How To: Fail a Kidnapping
by KillerMay
Summary: A tribute to "Kidnapping" by Boriqua-chan. Karin was panicking. She had to think of a lie, fast. "Uh...my water broke."


**AN. **I THINK YOU SHOULD READ "KIDNAPPING" BY BORIQUA-CHAN! :D

This totally won't make any sense without it, seriously. This is a tribute-esque story to "Kidnapping", so yeah. I was talking to Boriqua-chan through PM and we invented this blooper type thing.

If you HAVEN'T read "Kidnapping", go read it. _Now_.

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The Hyuuga household was actually quite nice, Karin noted. Then again, it wasn't really so much a "house" as it was a "mother_firetrucking _mansion". Kusagakure was a small town, they didn't have any truly notable clans with a lot of money - so this wasn't really something she was used to.

The room - that she shared with Suigetsu much to her chagrin - which she was assigned was about the size of her old house in said village, or the "lounge-type" area in Taka's latest hideout.

Or Suigetsu's ego.

Thankfully, the room had two beds. While they were supposed to be playing siblings, but quite frankly they _weren't and_ she already didn't want to be near him more than necessary - she definitely didn't want to be sharing a _bed _with him. Ew.

Anyways, Karin was just sitting around, nicely admiring the Hyuuga household, with Suigetsu decided to come in. He had run along to give a mission report to Sasuke - who he affectionately labeled "Bossman" – and had just now returned.

"Jonasan," she addressed him by his codename, just in case someone was listening. "What took you?"

He shrugged, and gave her a toothy grin. "I can't remember much," he lied, just to make her mad. "Something about hookers..." She scoffed, disgusted.

"You're such an _idiot_," she berated.

He shrugged it off. "And you're _ugly_." By now, Karin was holding down her arm as an attempt to not hit him. While she struggled with her arm, Suigetsu sealed his sword into a scroll so it wouldn't be found. He then grabbed the red wig he was forced to wear and hid the blue-ish silver of his natural hair.

When he turned around, Karin was still fighting her arm that had now formed a fist. "'Stupid, too," he insulted.

And that was when she punched him.

His face morphed into water upon impact. The water flew to the right, making the floor wet, when his face reformed - unharmed - we was cringing. "You know, I really wish I could go _one day_ without you making my face turn into water."

Karin rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to reply when the door was pushed open.

"Miss Mazenta, Mister Jonasan," the maid called, her head poking in. She soon stepped fully into the room. "Oh, my," she said in a gentle voice. "Where did all of this water come from?"

Karin was panicking. She had to think of a lie, fast. "Uh...my water broke."

"But you're much too thin," the maid replied. "Sickly thin…"

Suigetsu came to her rescue. "It's a thing in our family," he replied, quickly. "The women don't get fat."

Karin figured the woman had accepted this as an answer when she nodded. "If you don't mind me asking, whose baby is it? Forgive me, for it's not my place to ask, but as a mother, I must know if the child is okay."

The secret red head looked around. She couldn't say Suigetsu – he was supposed to be her brother. She then noticed a boy with long brown hair walking by the door. She raised her hand and pointed at him, dramatically. "It's his!" she yelled.

The maid gasped. "Master Neji! You're the father of our guest's child?"

He turned to her, narrowing his violet-white eyes. He turned his eyes toward 'Mazenta'. "Do I know you?" he asked, looking at her. "I'm only eighteen – I have no child. I don't know you. I have no time for this."

Despite the harshness he put on the words, his small speech sounded sincere. Almost as if she was disregarding this, the girl behind him gasped. She had buns in her hair and her chocolate browns eyes were filled with betrayal. "Neji!" she yelled. "You cheated on me!"

"No, Tenten!" he yelled desperately, but she was already out the door. He turned back toward the group in front of him. Karin was looking on, shocked, Suigetsu was holding in his laughter, and the maid was looking down, slightly frightened by what her employer's nephew might say.

"_You_," he said, pointing a finger at Karin. "Because of you, I just lost the bestest girlfriend ever. I don't even _know_ you!"

"Master Neji," the maid cut in. "Forgive me for correcting you, but 'bestest' is not a word."

Neji snapped. "I don't give a fuck!" While the Hyuuga took his frustration out on the maid, Karin and Suigetsu began to go out the window.

The maid, who was previously cowering in fear of her master, was now shouting to their guests. "Wait! Miss Mazenta! What about the baby?"

By then, the Orenji twins were already gone.

The maid ran over to the window, looking for where the two might have gone. Meanwhile, Neji found himself in a corner, somehow growing mushrooms. When the maid left, quickly to find their two guests, he smacked the mushrooms away.

The day ended with him crying because Tenten was the only joy he had left in the world.

THE END.

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**AN.** This was the "blooper" type thing me and Boriqua-chan wrote about through a PM - no, it doesn't make much sense. (:


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